This I Pray

I have never known a love like this,

yet I struggle daily with an ever consuming, anxiety filled heart.

Motherhood has turned me into both the best person I never knew I was 

and the person I never thought I would become.

Ever since tiny arrived I have been dealing with anxiety. 

Anxiety was always something that came and went in my pre-baby life, but this is different. 

My brain has changed to see everything as a lurking danger. 

Traveling, a favorite past time, seems downright hazardous.

The thought of flying is enough to make me weak in the knees.

My previous lead foot while cruising down the road doesn't seem so important,

and the many things I used to laugh at my mom for worrying about,

 have somehow crept their way into my mind. 

I want to teach Lucia to embrace life.

Not to fear it.

Which means only one thing...

 I am going to have to get a hold of these new fretful feelings.

I pray each night that God will protect our new family of 3. 

A gift he has so graciously given,

 now leaves me so scared it will be taken away.

I pray that our family will continue to grow in love.

I pray that God will continue to bless us and keep us healthy.

And in the meantime,

I'm giving this a try.

Any other mama's out there feeling the same way?