Never Forget

On a day like today, I can't help but become nostalgic.

I wish I could say it was the type of nostalgia filled with sweet aromas and laughter,

but it's not, and I bet you can remember exactly where you were today too.

I wish today wasn't forever engrained in my memory along with those other "days I'll never forget",

but it is, and because of that it will always hold a place in my heart.

11 years ago today, on Sept. 11th I was in a completely different place in my life.

I wasn't a mother, in fact when the towers were hit....I ran to my own mother, confused and scared. 

And now I am a mother myself, with a tiny to protect and comfort in moments of confusion.

Life changing moments such as Sept. 11th change people,

and even 11 years later I can't help but wonder why things like that happen.

I have always been highly sensitive to life's unfortunate events and since having Lucia, I can barely watch the news without feeling defeated.

But now that I'm a mother I wrestle with finding the right balance for tiny.

I don't want her to be oblivious to the world, but I don't want her to walk around in fear either.

I try daily to only exude positive energy to her. 

I refuse to let the negativity of others affect our life.

I promise her daily to do my best to protect her, love her, and nurture her with all my heart.

On a day like today, I am reminded to cuddle her a little longer, Kiss her a little extra,

and tell her I love her a million and 1 times.

I hope you do the same with your loved ones!

 

3 Generations

I feel so blessed.

Blessed to be a part of this trio of ladies.

 We have both inherited new names,

Mother turned to YaYa, 

and daughter turned to Mother,

they are new names that make us happier than before.

As the days pass and the years go on,

I can only pray that the wisdom that was once passed down to me,

can continue its journey to my little one.

 It makes my heart smile to know that one day,

the generations will continue and the positions will rotate.

3 generations of the greatest blessing;

 love.

This I Pray

I have never known a love like this,

yet I struggle daily with an ever consuming, anxiety filled heart.

Motherhood has turned me into both the best person I never knew I was 

and the person I never thought I would become.

Ever since tiny arrived I have been dealing with anxiety. 

Anxiety was always something that came and went in my pre-baby life, but this is different. 

My brain has changed to see everything as a lurking danger. 

Traveling, a favorite past time, seems downright hazardous.

The thought of flying is enough to make me weak in the knees.

My previous lead foot while cruising down the road doesn't seem so important,

and the many things I used to laugh at my mom for worrying about,

 have somehow crept their way into my mind. 

I want to teach Lucia to embrace life.

Not to fear it.

Which means only one thing...

 I am going to have to get a hold of these new fretful feelings.

I pray each night that God will protect our new family of 3. 

A gift he has so graciously given,

 now leaves me so scared it will be taken away.

I pray that our family will continue to grow in love.

I pray that God will continue to bless us and keep us healthy.

And in the meantime,

I'm giving this a try.

Any other mama's out there feeling the same way?

A Nursery Surprise

I love surprises,

and my hubs knows this.

On occasion, he will surprise me with things,

and although on this occasion I knew what was hidden behind that adorable paper,

I had no idea it was coming.

 I had spotted this frame awhile back at Marion's,
and always thought my tiny would really shine in it.
So we happily ditched this lady
 (no offense if your reading)

and filled it with the most delicious toes I ever did see.

Tiny baby toes could quite possibly be my very. favorite. thing.

So in honor of our tiny, 

we added her ten little piggies to her nursery.

It makes me smile every time I walk into her room,

and I can't help but think about all the adventures those toes will go on.

All the places they will take her.

But until then, these little piggies are right where they belong.
*Thank you to Carolyn Loesch Photography for creating such a beautiful memory*

Milestones

Today my tiny turns 4 months,

and it seems that each time we celebrate another successful month,

I become oh so nostalgic.

Just yesterday as I was rocking my little lady to sleep,

I caught myself staring with delight at the first picture ever taken of her, moments after she arrived.

I can't help but wonder how much she will change, or what the future will hold.

I sometimes feel like I'm having a constant battle with time,

 wanting it to go back, stop and fast forward.

Today however, I am going to focus on the moment 

and celebrate how far these 4 little months have taken us.

Thanks

Today I am feeling very thankful.
Thankful that our tiny slept 7 hours straight last night.
Thankful that my hubs has some time off.
Thankful that this is the life God has blessed me with.
Thankful that you take the time to read my blog.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The Perfect Recipe

I love being a mother,

but it is the true definition of a full time job.

I wouldn't trade it for anything and I can't imagine my life without my tiny,

but spending the night under the stars with my hubs was just what this new mama needed.

We talked about all the demands life puts on us,

how we want to give the best to our daughter,

and who our American Idol favorites are (it can't all be serious).

It was the perfect recipe to soothe my tired soul,

 and it felt oh so good to have some QAT (quality adult time) with my original main squeeze.

And of course with modern technology, our tiny is never too far.

Can I still use a monitor when she goes off to college? 

Be still my heart

I have never been a clean freak, if you don't believe me just ask my mother. Somewhere throughout my pregnancy though I morphed into a vacuuming obsessed, borderline crazed lady. I thought this rare obsession would pass but I am here to tell you that some pregnancy habits die hard. 

When I married my husband I also married his Dyson vacuum. My life will never be the same. This thing is AMAZING.  But behold my dear friends the latest and greatest, the thing that keeps me up at night wishing I had a bigger, dirtier house to vacuum. 

                                                                   

Drum roll please.......

Be still my heart. It's the Dyson DC41. It's not only my favorite color but it has triple the suction power as the one I currently own and the kicker...it's on a ball so you can easily maneuver it around your house. I dream of the day this sleek, purple dirt machine will be mine.

Now if only I could kick this chocolate eating habit!